$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize