I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
