The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
