Only a mothe r could love this liver
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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