it hurts more in the daytime
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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