THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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