I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
