Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
