He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
