Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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