I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
bring money and cleavage
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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