and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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