I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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