i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
