One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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