I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
