About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
