Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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