i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
