Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
