The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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