before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
