When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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