dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
