SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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