Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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