So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize