I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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