This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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