That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
