good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
