eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Drake has all the answers
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize