i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
