No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
