I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
