I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
do nipples grow back?
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