Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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