a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
