I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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