I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
