It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
