i'm signing you up for texting rehab
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
