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• (727): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night

  (303): View more from Colorado

  lol who won

  (727): View more from Florida

  well im in the hospital right now so u tell me

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what happened last night??

  (518): View more from New York

  everyone saw ******'s vagina

  (518): View more from New York

  and that's just the beginning

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"

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• (607): View more from New York

  Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.

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• (830): View more from Texas

  He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.

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• (646): View more from New York

  you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me

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• (916): View more from California

  Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?

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• (786): View more from Florida

  I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable

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• (714): View more from California

  it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.

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