she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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