No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
