She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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