can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
