okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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