you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
