C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
