You can't motorboat a personality
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
