That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
