Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
