walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I want to be your penis for a week.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
