There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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