i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
