North Korea, Best Korea!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
