I think im going to throw up on grandma
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
