I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Can I color on your dick again?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
