THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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