Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
