do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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