His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
