sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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