stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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