you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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