Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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