yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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