He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Randomize