Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
