TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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