Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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