You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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