She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
