going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
