"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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