WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
