She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
