It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize