he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
